Wednesday, August 15, 2012

“When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”

― Socrates

Not gonna lie - the summer's been rough; eventful and rough.
As one can quickly observe, it's been a while since my last post and a great deal has been happening, not all of it good.

The semester ended event-free. The show closed (early, as you know - unfortunate).

My father has been in and out of the hospital. He had another "episode." Twice, in fact; both in my presence. As a human being, it shakes you up to witness a loved one go blank right in front of you. Literally caught him in my arms the first time. The second, in his Dr.'s office; a more controlled environment, thank god. Good news - we finally diagnosed the problem: his blood pressure. Over-medication!!! Jesus CHRIST! All these doctors, and none of them communicate with each other. I could go on, oh...I could go on...but I won't. It's the same story we all know.
While it was horrible to witness my father go into a stroke-like state (TWICE), it was fortuitous that I was present and therefore able to relay the experience to the doctors. It turns out that his blood pressure (systolic) would drop 50 points upon the simple act of standing up! Positive side note: it is likely that the "episode" he had 2 years ago is likely to have NOT been a stroke, but this.
Life's little victories, the silver-lining, keeping the glass at half-full.

We're not out of the woods yet. He is still on the mend from his terrible accident from last March. He's so anxious to get better...he tends to disregard the not so subtle messages of what his body will permit him to do. He's a fighter that guy, love him for it.

Then there's my brother. He is unfortunately in the midst of a difficult time himself.
I must be delicate.
He is now embroiled in a nasty divorce that has consumed our entire family. 
Again, I won't go into details as there are many legal factors in flux at this time.
But I will say this, there are several words that find themselves floating around in my head these days. Words like "slander" and "transference,"one in particular that rhymes with words like blunt and  confront.
I wish I could say that everyone's best interest is for the children, my beautiful nephews and niece. I wish that were true.
In addition, he is gallantly working hard to maintain his business, a luxury business at that; difficult to do in any time, let alone a recession. It is a business that relies heavily on reputation, a reputation that has been built for over 60 years. A reputation that my brother has successfully maintained and made his own for almost 10. So when that reputation finds itself being chiseled away by a gaggle of bored, despondent gossip-mongers who live vicariously through the trials of others...it makes me very, very angry.
It angers me how little truth need be in an accusation for it to have a major impact on someone's life while at the same time having little ramification to the one who fabricated it. It angers me how people (some) would rather enjoy the drama of "their own movie" than follow through with what's right and what is in the best interest of, oh I don't know...their children?
It was a sad day helping my brother move him out of his house. I never want to see him like that again.
I have learned more about a topic that I never wished to learn about. I hope to god I never have to share this knowledge with anyone.

...and that's about all I have to say about that.

As I look back at what I just wrote, you notice I have decided to censor myself. I do not retract any of it, and have much, MUCH more to say on the matter. It fills me with much emotion and feeling of protection towards my family, but considering the sensitive time in which my brother now lives; my catharsis need not come at the expense of his future. I indulge in the therapeutic nature of writing it all out. But ultimately, this chapter is not about me.
Moving on....

It hasn't been all bad (he laughs to himself as he just read what he just wrote!)
I am preparing to embark on my busiest semester yet!
I will be teaching 5 classes at 3 universities this semester!
uh...wow!
2 Acting classes
Theater Appreciation
2 sections of Stage Make-up

In addition to returning to Rider and Montclair State Universities, I am proud to be returning to Rutgers as well. While it is a full load, it is a very workable schedule: 1 class per day. It's gonna be nice to not have to high-tail it out of one class in order to make it to another.
My only lament is that these next few months will limit acting opportunities. My audition schedule will unfortunately be confined a great deal. I have spoken to my agent and manager about this and all seems to be workable. Bottom line-my primary passion is acting and I strive to maintain forward, upward progress.
All said, I'm quite pleased with how it all seems to be going. YES-I want more, but it should not be at the expense of the acknowledgement of past accomplishments.
(I have to keep reminding myself of this)

In addition, I have been working hard to maintain that forward motion.
I shot some new headshots
Took an Improv class at UCB (that shit is hard)
Revamped my website - CHECK IT OUT!!!
The short film I shot in L.A. earlier this year is progressing quite nicely.
   - I saw a rough-cut, and a clip of one of my special F/X moments - very cool!
   - I have a good feeling about this project. Should do well in the festivals as it is a clever piece with fantastic production value.

So, that's about it.

and that is "what I did last summer."