Stirrings....

It's already been quite the year.
2017 is looking good!

Booked my 3rd gig and it's not even May.

- Law and Order:SVU
    Aired last month

- Mr. Robot (in a very exciting role!)
    Shot the episode last week; hard work, but a thrill. Both Sam Esmail and Rami Malek were extremely kind, supportive and collaborative.  What an experience!

- Stella's Last Weekend  a feature film written and directed by Polly Draper (I had quite a crush on her in Thirtysomething - I was quite smitten during the callback).

What's more important is the building and fostering of relationships; making good impressions.

Oh! and I was offered a role on another Network show! outright - NO AUDITION
and had to turn it down because of another gig!

I like this feeling!

Moving forward....Go Get the Ax is progressing beautifully.
Our cast is aaaaaaalllllmost complete.
Our design team is quite amazing.

Check out our progress by "Liking" FIG Productions on our FACEBOOK PAGE

We start rehearsals in a few weeks.
Very exciting.

I like this feeling!

As all this is happening I'm wrapping up another semester of teaching; always a challenge as I always strive to be better in that capacity as well.

Wedding planning continues...October...my 2nd self-produced event.

One foot in front of the other...

Wow!

It's been a while.

Apologies.

I guess I've been struggling with the idea that I don't feel like anything new has been happening; nothing worth mentioning, I guess.

That's not true however, it's just easy to fall into monotony, or feel like you're stuck in it.

Let's see...
Since my last posting:

*   One Love, New Love closed.
My feelings on that show were mixed.
Working at the Luna Stage was terrific; the facilities, the staff and crew...all wonderful! I would welcome the opportunity to work there again.

Added to that, I got to work with the über-talented Kim Zimmer (Reba from Guiding Light).
While we only had a few scenes together, we played well and there was always trust that choices and discoveries were directed towards the goal of telling the story in an honest, truthful way.
I learned so much watching her work. We got along well, and we helped each other out during the rehearsal process; answering questions, negotiating around challenges and traps of the show.
I feel like I made a new friend, a trusted colleague.

Despite all that, there were strange tensions present with other cast-mates; actors with whom I had more to do. While I won't go into specifics, things came to a point where-in certain actors and myself just stopped speaking to each other. Rehearsals provided a great deal of challenges as most of the re-writes were centered around my character and his relationship with his family. In addition to the strains of that particular process (we were invited to participate in a open exchange regarding the rewrites - maybe I was too vocal??), I can't help but wonder if it was those strains that spilled over into the personal dynamic off-stage.
Sometimes young, inexperienced actors can have difficulty distinguishing between the strains of the work from the personal relationship.
...maybe that was it?
My fear was that the personal dynamics would risk those portrayed on-stage; so, I found myself employing the use of some actor tricks to "drop in" to the core relationships to over-compensate.
I felt like a fake up there.
A liar.

I began to hate my work because of it. I wasn't proud of what I was doing.
It wasn't fun.

I invited no one.
I found myself looking forward to the curtain-call as soon as the play.
That's not a good feeling; especially when it begins to chisel away at one's morale.

So, I did what I thought was best - kept my head down...did the work....and got out of there every night as soon as I was finished.
I can only hope throughout all that internal strife, I was able to maintain a professional demeanor; hopefully no one knew what I was feeling (unless I spoke of it to certain folks).

Anyway...that was that.
Learn and grow.

...what else...?

*  Oh! I'm now teaching at a new school!
In addition to Rutgers and Rider Universities (both of which invited me back for Spring '17), I am currently teaching a class at The New York Conservatory of Dramatic Arts.
I am very fortunate to be a part of their faculty.
The commute is nice! (IN Manhattan!)
I hope I'm invited back to continue teaching there.



*  Sonia and I picked a date as well as a venue!

The Grand Wilshire Hotel
We will be getting married in October of 2017.

So...there's that...On to the wedding planning...exciting!

*  The theater company, in which I am a founding member,  FIG Productions is slated to put up our 1st production, Go Get the Ax next summer!
This company was formed earlier this year with two very good friends and colleagues: Richard Aven and James Menzies (Sonia's a part of this as well!)

We had a very successful inaugural fundraiser last month and despite a huge setback several months ago (the theater we booked originally closed abruptly), we are moving forward!
We are hoping to announce our new venue very soon.

More to come on that as we are continuing to raise funds for not only Go Get the Ax, but also our 2nd production, The Finish Line by company member, Tré W. Davis.

* I am now working with a new management company, Whole Artist Management!
So that's exciting.
And it's though that new relationship that....

*  I booked a small, but fun role on GOTHAM that aired last week!

It's strange writing this post as when I began I was feeling a bit depressed and lamenting the state of my career and place in life.

It's easy to feel stagnant.

However, taking a step back and reading this....I guess it's not that bad.

Not bad at all.

Maybe I'm progressing more than I thought..?

So, it is in the spirit of the season I must acknowledge my gratitude.

I have much.

In the meantime, I'll try to get off my ass and be a more diligent blogger....

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's not always about Acting...

It’s been a while, I know…

Many entries seem to begin with that passage, it seems.

Perhaps it might be because I’m finding it’s all about the same stuff..?

Career woes, goals and aspirations

A new show

Veiled jealousies brought on by the seeming successes of former colleagues and classmates

Blah

Blah

BuLaaaaah!

It’s all the same shit.

Nothing makes those kinds of realizations clearer than a solid dose of real life.

Real things; things that change you, things that change your life.

For instance, Sonia’s father passed earlier this year.  A tremendous loss for her and her family.  An event I witnessed, for which I was present.            

Profound.

A life-changing event; its impact to be felt forever.

….on to a happier note –

Sonia and I are engaged!

The question was popped and answered on Valentine’s Day (I know, I know…maybe a little sappy however, if you could swallow down your vomit, I promise you it was logistically the best time. The timing of other events determined the timing of this as well).

Anyway…we are both very happy. While the planning of the event has yet to begin; it will commence as soon as we’re able to regain some sense of normalcy.

Between both our families, there are a lot of adjustments to be settled.
So, there's that.

Oh, and since this is a BLOG about Acting, written by an Actor –

I am working on a new show!

My debut at Luna Stage.

I am proud to be sharing the stage with the amazing talent, Kim Zimmer!

Not only is she a talented and generous actor, but it is also an education just to witness her process. 

Learning so much.

Very Grateful.

We start previews soon, then open in the middle of the month.

Final exams and buzz-cuts...

It's been an exciting few weeks...

Another semester has come and gone. I'm currently in the midst of grading.
After some uncertainty (low enrollment issues), it seems that I will be keeping both classes that I'm slated to teach in the Spring (excited to teach American Contemporary Theater again!)

Oh, and I booked and shot a co-starring role for the show Limitless!
Very exciting...my largest TV role to date. In addition, the role required me to get a buzz-cut - which was filmed for the show! To be clear, my new hair cut will be televised for all to see!

Crazy and exciting!

Interesting occurrence during the filming of my hair getting shaved (yes, it will be televised) - as it was happening, the actor in me knew all too well that the "scene" wasn't really about me, about the feelings of the character I was portraying, it was about the event itself (there is a reason why my head is getting shaved that further's the episode's plot line). That said, I had to be certain to really do nothing but sit there and let it happen; anxieties festering out in the form of nervous laughter, eye rolls, etc. I had to kind of "go zen," breathe, and just be. As the cut continued, the strangest thing happened - I started to get kind of emotional.

I never had my head shaved before and, admittedly I always had a bit of vanity surrounding my hair; it was a mild source of pride.

Ironically, I had been considering shaving my head for a while. Sonia had advised me to wait a while (good thing I did!).

I must admit, I like the new do; it's easier to maintain and it makes me look like a bit of a badass methinks. Sonia seems to like it too (that's most important).

I'm getting new headshots taken next week.
....gonna see how this works on me for a while.

Perhaps this is the start of a literal new chapter in my life and career....?

It's not always about Acting...

Yes, it's been a while since my last post however, a lot has been going on....and it's not all about Acting.

It can be easy to forget at times; this career pursuit can often be all-encompassing, and that's not always a good thing. Sometimes we have to take a step back and remember the other facets of our lives, sometimes the other parts of our lives give us no choice; forcing our shift of focus. Either way, for better or worse, it is a good thing to have a life outside of this oft-beleagured endeavour.

Where to begin....

Being invited to teach at RSAC was a pleasant experience. I was working with another instructor; I took the 1st third of the program, she took over the remainder. To keep continuity and consistency for the students (great kids!), I popped in a few times throughout the entire program. Was a rewarding experience and hope to be invited back.

After long last, I found love again..aaahhh!
More on that later. In a nutshell, we took an amazing trip together to Puerto Rico.
My first visit there was amazing! I LOVE IT THERE!!!
We are in the process of exploring some real estate possibilities....yes! they're there.
Excited about the potential...
And...she's moving in. It's been a long time since there has been real activity on the love-front. She's terrific, and it's all been worth the wait.
Perhaps everything has led me to this?
Meant to be...?

Finally, Dad found himself in the hospital again. Before you sweat it too much - he's home and well on the road to recovery.
In a nutshell, he had 2 major heart surgeries last month.
1st, an Aortic valve replacement. No, it was not open heart surgery (was a TAVR - new valve inserted via a catheter up through the groin), but serious nonetheless.
2nd, after the valve was replaced, a pace-maker had to be inserted.
Again, in the end...all went well.
He's better than he has been in years. Very grateful.
Now it's about easing things for Mom....we'll see..? She's the one I worry about.

The Fall Semester is underway. So far so good.

...'nuff for now.

Conquering, fighting and Doubling-down...

Another semester comes to a close
Doubling-down on the acting pursuits
Conquering a few fears
"fightin' the good fight"

Almost a month ago I finished yet another academic year. A year marked with some of my most cherished experiences as a teacher, as well as working through some struggles to find my way. I embrace the experiences and working to sit with myself and process the lessons. Maybe this is true with many vocations, but working and living in the artistic and educational communities, I find I am always learning.  Perhaps that's the secret?
Being open to learn, and constantly questioning things (the world around you as well as oneself).

Despite it's ups and downs, I'd have to declare the '14/'15 Academic Year a success.

I will continue my teaching in the fall semester at both Rider and Rutgers.
I will also be teaching at RSAC again - teaching Acting to the kids in that program; excited to be back

While I'm not the type for New Year's resolutions (I know, I know...it's June - bear with me), I did resolve to "double-down" on my Acting efforts; trying to abate the constant actors' struggle against stagnation.
That said, I've been meeting and re-acquainting myself with the prominent CD's in the area.
With all humility, that effort so far seems to have been met with positive results. My work brought to classes and seminars has met expectations and on more than one occasion, I've been called in afterwards for auditions for specific projects. That's the goal, always...familiarizing more and more industry professionals with my work. As I tell my students quite often (and was confirmed by one of the most prestigious CDs in the area) - it's not about booking the role, but showing up and bringing solid, prepared work. Booking he role will come when it comes (there is so much out of our control), all we can do is show up prepared. There's nothing better than a CD knowing your work and knowing you "bring it" every time (or at least most of the times).

Of course, I've come close a few times lately (was "pinned" for an episodic last month)...
You can guess the outcome.
C'est la vie!
More importantly, that CD will assuredly bring me in for something else.
The same old story...but I remain comforted that I am building a solid reputation.

On the fear front-
I'm taking another Improv class, and ventured into directing.

Improv (that shit is HARD) - I am in the Level 1 class at The PIT
I've gone through Levels 1 and 2 at UCB, which was terrific. I just figured another point-of view might be interesting. Plus, I have no problem starting over with something like this....nothing but humility here. It's so hard (for me, especially) and I could use the repetition.
We'll see.

Directing (HARD too) - I decided to put my fears aside and go for it.
I had my directing debut with AMIOS this past month.
It was a great piece Always by your Side by Conor O'Brien
starring Lauren Berst and Zach Evenson. A terrific cast, a wonderful writer.

He gave us a chilling 3-scene play. During the rehearsal process I let the actors feel it out; I believe in seeing what they bring (some of my best experiences occurred when the directors allowed the actors to bring in their own ideas and work off that). Of course I provided a context for it all, based off of the world that Conor created. But still, theater works well within collaboration - I believe.

That said, I took a big risk that I think paid off.

During rehearsals, inspired by what the actors were doing physically (i.e. body language through their commitment to their respective objectives) - an idea emerged. As I pondered this idea, I also realized that the actual dialogue in Act 2 had no new information in it (we didn’t get any info that wasn’t covered in Acts 1 & 3). In addition, the playwright was really interested in telling his story in 3 Acts. So, I did a little experiment in rehearsals with music: I challenged the actors perform Act 2 MOS 

(a film term reference -I heard it was Ingmar Bergman who had a hard time with “W’s” - so when he would say “Without Sound” it sounded like, “Mitout Sound” - the term then got abbreviated to MOS...  a little film history there, for you - if you’re interested).

The actors were clearly telling the story physically (via the body language). I had Rufus Wainwright’s I can't Give you Anything but Love underscoring the Act. The more we worked it, the more I liked it

It’ was risky, the actors were a bit confused when I proposed it - but it paid off. The playwright liked it too, even though it confused him at first (I realize it’s a delicate thing for a playwright to have so much of their words cut). After a back and forth, he acknowledged the story was still clear (my primary concern, always). I know there were a few Shotz! veterans that were taken aback by the decision.
Again however, it paid off.

It was cool to feel the audience “lean in” when Act 2 happened…
”what’s this?” 
“what’s going on?” - you could feel it - very cool.

To add a little spice to that - one of my actors had a serious bike accident late in the process (broke his elbow, tore his rotator cuff…bad). Between our last rehearsal and TECH (we lost a rehearsal and a few days), I only spoke to the actor; his arm was in a sling, and on major pain meds.

I was prepared to go up myself as a plan B. 
The night of the performance, I wasn't fully sure about who would go up...a little bit of added excitement.
Again, thanks to a wonderful playwright and fully committed, talented actors!
A true privilege.

Added to that, I've had a few small acting projects: a couple of 1-Acts, a short film shooting later this month, another has been in the Film Festival circuit.
February, written and directed by the wonderful Jessi Shuttleworth of Scabland Productions.
I had the privilege of seeing this with mom last month at the SOHO International Film Festival. I was/am so impressed by the film, so proud to have been a part of it. A powerful story, effectively shot and told beautifully. There's talk of my working with her on her next project - I'm so there!
It was/is rewarding to see the work going out there and being received by so many...I like that feeling.

I want it to continue...

The Winter of my Discontent

Ironically, as I write this, we get nailed with another blast of snow on the 1st day of Spring!
Ha!
Funny...

Another brutal winter.
Bitter, bitter cold.
Though, gratefully, we did not receive the amount of snow that was dealt with last year.
Reminder - as I was in transition last year (geographically, thank you), I was based out of the Philly area last winter for the majority of the season. What Boston got his year, Philly got last year (admittedly to a lesser degree, but it was still brutal).
Anyway....I'll take it. Much less snow to tend with; easier on the back and body - little to no shoveling.

But it was still a rough season, not just pertaining to the weather.

I'm going through something.
I have been for quite some time, actually; this winter just seemed to intensify it all.

Changes within myself: physically, emotionally, spiritually (?)
Changes outside myself: family, career, relationships (some redundancy there as my relationship with my family is changing)

Anyway...as this transition persists, I find myself challenged more and more by anxiety.
It is that anxiety that has been manifesting itself throughout my body

A nail-biting habit has reemerged.
Fortunately, I've been though this cycle before allowing me to recognize it early and deal with it before things got really bad (hypno-therapy works folks...just saying)

My back has been a source of pain and struggle too, over the last several months.
Things were actually going well, progressing for some time - until an unfortunate chiropractic visit set things off in my back. The morning after the adjustment, I woke up with the ability only to crawl. Since then, I've been living with a new types of pain and sensations along my spine.

To cope with this new obstacle I've tried different things:
*A light adjustment at another chiropractor
*Visited an acupuncturist for the first time (and I HATE needles!) - THAT was interesting, and wildly effective. I felt tremendous afterwards and have since gone back.
*Saw my old Alexander teacher to work on some posture stuff
* changing my work-out routine (I have since learned that my former routine my have been one of the aggravators...?)

Anyway...all indications lead to the conclusion that
1) There is no serious, nor physical injury to speak of
2) All issues are most likely a result of anxiety and stress

Hmmm - YA THINK!??

Short answer- all this is is likely my mind and my body adjusting and adapting to this period of change.
I feel some major ones are in my near future.
I constantly question the status and progress of my Acting career; I sincerely wonder if I have the stamina to continue...what is progress? what is growth? (the same ole questions)

I receive so many mixed signals.
On one hand, seeing what some of my contemporaries are doing - I feel stagnate.
On the other hand, many of the aforementioned contemporaries have many other things going for them: i.e. diversity, gender, extreme character cast-ability, etc.

On the other hand (Yea...I know...we only have 2 hands. May I borrow one?)
I receive much encouragement through the classes I take, seminars attended (a prominent CD called me in almost immediately after I took a "class" with her - not the 1st time that has happened) and projects in which I participate.

Just last night, I shared the stage with a bona-fide acting "hero" of mine: Mr. Frankie Faison.
(respectfully, you may not know the name off-hand, but google him - I guarantee you, you will recognize his face immediately!)
I call him a "hero" because he is truly one of those guys who is everywhere and just does great work ALL the time; from The Wire, to all the Hannibal Lecter films (he is the only one to be in ALL the films, even Michael Mann's art-piece, ManHunter (based on Red Dragon).
Anyway...to work with an actor of that caliber, was a privilege. The only other time I was this excited to work with another actor was when I did a reading at EST with James Rebhorn, another one of my heroes (may he rest in peace).
Both men were kind, generous, and a joy to work with.

These are guys whose careers I aspire towards.
The journeymen/master actors who are everywhere. You may not know the name, but you most assuredly know their work and their faces. The extreme example of this type of actor is the now more-famous-than-ever-Oscar-winner, J.K. Simmons (of Whiplash, if you haven't seen it yet, RUN do not walk!).
These guys are amazing!
Period

The occasion that provided this wonderful opportunity is another one of those positive indicators that I referred to; little signals telling me that perhaps I should stick with this.

Back to working with Mr. Faison; last year I did a reading of a meaningful new play, Redeemed, by a young new playwright, Keli Goff.
She had another reading of the play last night, and she, personally, invited me to return to play the role of Jack. I was the only one from the original reading to continue on...a compliment I do not take for granted.
These little signals happen now and then; all welcome.

Anyway....I digress.
While I am what seems to be right in the middle of this transitional period (feels like forever), I don't feel I could ever give up on my dreams of acting; however, I am exploring my options beyond teaching.
Last semester opened my eyes to a few truths.
I'll get into that later...

Spring is here.
New beginnings
Rebirth
I am hoping the season not only brings with it a lovely thaw, but perhaps it will also provide some answers, or at least some opportunity that will guide me on my path.

I will keep my eyes open as we head out of the hibernation of the winter of '15.