Admittedly, despite the rocky process, personality conflicts and horrible space issues - the show was a bona fide success. Goes to show, that when you have solid material, solid actors (for the most part), it is difficult to screw it up. Many lessons were learned. The question will now be - will we all (Dark Luna) grow from them?
I have been going through the usual post-show blues. I miss the world of the play, particularly the relationships Kris had in that world that Wesley so beautifully created.
I find myself wondering,
"where do I go from here?"
"what next?"
This was a fantastic piece for me. Showed me off very well (physically and artistically). Despite that, it was challenging to get many industry people to attend. A common problem - Yes, as a new company in NYC, one needs to keep expectations realistic; I just feel like Sisyphus, these past years since coming out of grad school - constantly pushing that boulder up a hill to move my career forward. I have been doing it, yes. I won't ignore that fact. My agents came, which is good, and rumor has it they were very pleased with what they saw....so, we'll see. I am looking to meet with them soon and have a conversation about the future. So, I must be objective about my progress - a constant challenge for me.
In addition, I find myself uncertain about my future with this group, Dark Luna. No sour grapes, mind you; nor is there any bitterness - at all. It's just, after all this, all the obstacles we faced (some external and out of our control, many were internal and could've been avoided, I believe) I cannot help but wonder if I am a right fit for this group? Might I be a disruptive force. While what I see and witness seems to be counter-intuitive to moving forward - maybe it's me? Maybe whatever issues that are present are because of me...? I cannot ignore that possibility.
It is because of that very possibility that I am choosing to make some life changes as well. I find myself to be more solitary these days than I prefer. So I am beginning to make an effort to seek new relationships in my life - a little internal "spring cleaning" if you will. Out with the old and dusty, in with the new. And it has to begin with me!
I am looking to begin to do more volunteering in the area (NYC/NJ), and I am adopting a dog!
I have a sneaking suspicion that this little lady is gonna change my life.
Looking forward to it - I need it!
