Conquering, fighting and Doubling-down...

Another semester comes to a close
Doubling-down on the acting pursuits
Conquering a few fears
"fightin' the good fight"

Almost a month ago I finished yet another academic year. A year marked with some of my most cherished experiences as a teacher, as well as working through some struggles to find my way. I embrace the experiences and working to sit with myself and process the lessons. Maybe this is true with many vocations, but working and living in the artistic and educational communities, I find I am always learning.  Perhaps that's the secret?
Being open to learn, and constantly questioning things (the world around you as well as oneself).

Despite it's ups and downs, I'd have to declare the '14/'15 Academic Year a success.

I will continue my teaching in the fall semester at both Rider and Rutgers.
I will also be teaching at RSAC again - teaching Acting to the kids in that program; excited to be back

While I'm not the type for New Year's resolutions (I know, I know...it's June - bear with me), I did resolve to "double-down" on my Acting efforts; trying to abate the constant actors' struggle against stagnation.
That said, I've been meeting and re-acquainting myself with the prominent CD's in the area.
With all humility, that effort so far seems to have been met with positive results. My work brought to classes and seminars has met expectations and on more than one occasion, I've been called in afterwards for auditions for specific projects. That's the goal, always...familiarizing more and more industry professionals with my work. As I tell my students quite often (and was confirmed by one of the most prestigious CDs in the area) - it's not about booking the role, but showing up and bringing solid, prepared work. Booking he role will come when it comes (there is so much out of our control), all we can do is show up prepared. There's nothing better than a CD knowing your work and knowing you "bring it" every time (or at least most of the times).

Of course, I've come close a few times lately (was "pinned" for an episodic last month)...
You can guess the outcome.
C'est la vie!
More importantly, that CD will assuredly bring me in for something else.
The same old story...but I remain comforted that I am building a solid reputation.

On the fear front-
I'm taking another Improv class, and ventured into directing.

Improv (that shit is HARD) - I am in the Level 1 class at The PIT
I've gone through Levels 1 and 2 at UCB, which was terrific. I just figured another point-of view might be interesting. Plus, I have no problem starting over with something like this....nothing but humility here. It's so hard (for me, especially) and I could use the repetition.
We'll see.

Directing (HARD too) - I decided to put my fears aside and go for it.
I had my directing debut with AMIOS this past month.
It was a great piece Always by your Side by Conor O'Brien
starring Lauren Berst and Zach Evenson. A terrific cast, a wonderful writer.

He gave us a chilling 3-scene play. During the rehearsal process I let the actors feel it out; I believe in seeing what they bring (some of my best experiences occurred when the directors allowed the actors to bring in their own ideas and work off that). Of course I provided a context for it all, based off of the world that Conor created. But still, theater works well within collaboration - I believe.

That said, I took a big risk that I think paid off.

During rehearsals, inspired by what the actors were doing physically (i.e. body language through their commitment to their respective objectives) - an idea emerged. As I pondered this idea, I also realized that the actual dialogue in Act 2 had no new information in it (we didn’t get any info that wasn’t covered in Acts 1 & 3). In addition, the playwright was really interested in telling his story in 3 Acts. So, I did a little experiment in rehearsals with music: I challenged the actors perform Act 2 MOS 

(a film term reference -I heard it was Ingmar Bergman who had a hard time with “W’s” - so when he would say “Without Sound” it sounded like, “Mitout Sound” - the term then got abbreviated to MOS...  a little film history there, for you - if you’re interested).

The actors were clearly telling the story physically (via the body language). I had Rufus Wainwright’s I can't Give you Anything but Love underscoring the Act. The more we worked it, the more I liked it

It’ was risky, the actors were a bit confused when I proposed it - but it paid off. The playwright liked it too, even though it confused him at first (I realize it’s a delicate thing for a playwright to have so much of their words cut). After a back and forth, he acknowledged the story was still clear (my primary concern, always). I know there were a few Shotz! veterans that were taken aback by the decision.
Again however, it paid off.

It was cool to feel the audience “lean in” when Act 2 happened…
”what’s this?” 
“what’s going on?” - you could feel it - very cool.

To add a little spice to that - one of my actors had a serious bike accident late in the process (broke his elbow, tore his rotator cuff…bad). Between our last rehearsal and TECH (we lost a rehearsal and a few days), I only spoke to the actor; his arm was in a sling, and on major pain meds.

I was prepared to go up myself as a plan B. 
The night of the performance, I wasn't fully sure about who would go up...a little bit of added excitement.
Again, thanks to a wonderful playwright and fully committed, talented actors!
A true privilege.

Added to that, I've had a few small acting projects: a couple of 1-Acts, a short film shooting later this month, another has been in the Film Festival circuit.
February, written and directed by the wonderful Jessi Shuttleworth of Scabland Productions.
I had the privilege of seeing this with mom last month at the SOHO International Film Festival. I was/am so impressed by the film, so proud to have been a part of it. A powerful story, effectively shot and told beautifully. There's talk of my working with her on her next project - I'm so there!
It was/is rewarding to see the work going out there and being received by so many...I like that feeling.

I want it to continue...

What I did this past winter....

Ok, so I realize it's been a while...
I've been in the process of a significant transitional period.
As you may recall, I was residing at my parent's place since I returned from my gig in West Palm Beach.

Christ, I hadn't "lived at home" since I was in high school (I will not state how long ago that was...but  it was quite a while back!). And though "living with one's parents" comes with its expected obstacles and challenges, given the brutal, oppressive winter we just went through, I realize I was meant to be there during those few months. And on a level, I was happy to be.

No hyperbole, coming off of the severity of Sandy last fall (I was at ground Zero.5, I call it. The big difference between Jersey City and Hoboken at the time was that the water receded from Jersey City, unlike Hoboken), this winter hit Chester County, PA with an unrelenting consistency. Seriously, it seemed the epicenter of every f-ing storm that came (I think we're at 15? or so? - no joke!), was directly in line with West Chester, Philadelphia and what is now known as the "I-95 Corridor."
Shoveling became my daily ritual; where to put the snow became the quandary of the week. Piles were so high that snow-blowers (I used ours for the first time) could only throw the snow so high. When they became useless and we had to resort to shovels again...we were limited by our throwing power.

Back aches and tendonitis seemed to take permanent residence in my body, it feels.

Through the worst of it: the ice storm, we were without heat and power for almost a week. We burned wood, snuggled around the fireplace like we were in some Dickens novel and tolerated it until the house lost what retained heat it kept. That last night was truly brutal; at the risk of sounding insensitive, I don't want to imagine what the homeless must suffer through. I only know, I couldn't sleep while the biting cold pierced my face;  completely residing under the pile of blankets conversely, was suffocating. Pick you poison.

Then I had the commute to 2 schools in New Jersey from the other side of Philadelphia.
My mornings at Rutgers (class begins at 9:15) required my waking up at 5am, being out the door by 6-6:30 at the latest; traffic being such a variable, I couldn't chance it. Wednesdays required me to get a hotel as I couldn't justify driving back from Rider U. only to make the 5am jaunt back up to Rutgers. Added to that the issue of safety - at that hour, not only is it the coldest, but there is also the greatest propensity for "black ice" on the roads; terrible, terrible accidents all over the area (you may recall the 50 car pile-up on the PA Turnpike this winter? that was right in my commute).

In addition, starting in early February - I finally found a place - AND MOVED!

WHO the F*^% moves in FEBRUARY!!!??????
This Guy!!!
Jesus - that was arduous to say the least.
Planning trips not only around my teaching schedule, auditions, and of course, the weather; it was something akin to producing a play. Juggling so many factors to think of it all would make you cry.

Irony Alert - after the move - I found myself not only battling loneliness (a new neighborhood) but I also found myself really missing my parents. Yes, living with them (albeit briefly) was annoying at times (man, that man constantly wants something!!), but I am so lucky (SO LUCKY) that my parents actually are also my friends. Sure I love them, but I also LIKE them. Does that make sense?
In addition, it also felt good to do all I could for them. Christ, they've done (DO) so much for me - the least I can do is make their lives easier in some small way. I worry that I can't do as much for them now that I'm gone. Sure, I visit fairly regularly - but it's not the same...
Random observation  - whenever I arrive back in PA, the first words out of my father's mouth, "When are you leaving?"
When I am heading out the door with my last bag to return to NJ, "When are you coming back?"
You gotta love the guy.
She ain't bad either! 78 years old and had an exhibit in the Philadelphia Flower Show - AGAIN!!!
Can't wait to see the pics!
So proud of her.

God, I love them both.

Teaching - yes, I am teaching 3 courses this semester; one of which is a brand new course: American Contemporary Theater.
I actually schedule a field trip for this one  -  HUH???!!

Yep, we all went to the Walnut Street Theater to see a show together.
What am I thinking??!!! I'm only an adjunct!!!
Here's the thing - it all came together!
Fortunately, it's a great class, great students - and we all made it work (thanks again, Blair for being the class transport!)

My other classes are Acting classes (Basic at Rutgers, Intermediate at Rider) - great students (for the most part)...some wonderful moments and growth present in both classes. My only hope is that they are able to see what I see and own their progress. A few instances of resistant attitudes but fortunately, nothing too disruptive. Though I have realized my greatest frustration in the classroom is stifled growth. To see students willfully hold themselves back is mind-boggling to me (while they may not know that that is, in fact, what they are doing...it is, in fact a "choice" to not do the work...a result of resistance.)

When I look back on the past few months I cannot help but marvel at it all.
Does life get easier?
Why can't it?
Might I be able to get more of what I want?
Is it just about patience?

I'm now pretty much completely moved in. There are a few non-essentials I need to get out of storage, but I've been living here (in Hoboken) for the past month. Getting to know my new neighborhood, new commute. It's nice, while it's more residential than where I lived in Jersey City, it's just as accessible to the city.

I'm back in a scene study class, back involved with Amios and have been auditioning (which has been going well - close to booking something). So, of course, that whole struggle begins again, raising all those old questions.

I feel I'm still growing into my type...We'll see....is it all just about timing?

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large -- I contain multitudes.” -Walt Whitman

For a summer season, I've been quite busy with several smaller projects.
"Big things have small beginnings."

Two staged readings, a couple of rounds with AMIOS, classes and auditions.
I have a short film to shoot on monday on Long Island (thank you, Johnnie!), and then it's just Improv.
I'm currently in Level 2 (201) and am sorry to say I had to miss the last class due to a family emergency.
We are entering a new normal with regards to my father; he fell off his treadmill the other night (midnight to be exact) and he dislocated his left shoulder.

For 84 (in September), he's a tough one, that's for sure.

I have Jury Duty on the 18th. 

I wanna visit LA before I head to Florida.

I'm not sure what I'm doing after the play down there...stay in the NY area?

Am I better suited out there?

What about my responsibilities here?

Am I not being patient about NY?

Am I doing better than I think I am?

Some clarity would be nice.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. -Buddha

I just wrapped up another successful semester of teaching. Ironically, my last semester at Montclair State was my best. I had challenges during my time there, but all in all, it was a positive experience. I feel I gained the respect of my students , I can only hope that they got something out of the class in return. Part of me will miss it there, but alas, tis time to move on.

My Theater Appreciation class is seeming to get more and more streamlined; covering most of the same material in a more engaging way. Students are more and more enthused. I received many compliments from students; feels good.

I will be teaching Acting at both Rider and Rutgers Universities in the fall. Nice to know that so many schools are eager to keep me around. Again, Montclair would've kept me if I chose to stay...good to move on on my own terms.

A few weeks ago I completed Improv 101 at Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB). What an exciting, terrifying experience. I am not good at improv, but acknowledge it is a skill I need to develop. The class was hard; I struggled. I feel I did better than I think I did. I start 201 at the end of the month.
I practically shit my pants every time I go up but, if you're not growing and learning - you're dying.
This is good for me.

I also recently joined the wonderful theatrical group, AMIOS (Art and Music in our Souls). This is a pretty great collective of artists; I am flattered to be a part of it. Among other things, they host an evening of theater every month called, Shotz. Every month, playwrights have two weeks to write a short play (based on a pre-determined theme), then the actors and directors have two weeks to rehearse and stage their assigned play. It's fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants theater but, fully produced. It's not half-assed; the work is quality stuff and I've been asked to return to participate in this month's Shotz, my 2nd; a true compliment.

I have several readings coming up:
One produced by Fundamental Theatre Project, directed by Shirley Knight
Perfect Weather by Eric Fallen
The Medicine Show by David Dannenfelser

Lotsa irons in fires.
Keeping busy as best I can, moving forward.

...till next time.